Saved for a Purpose

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my granddaughter's reaction to seeing my fully decorated Christmas tree for the first time.  She was really in awe of this new addition to the living room.  However, it didn't look so lovely the morning before she saw it.  We bought this tree a few years ago because it was pre-lit, which sounds wonderful in theory, but not so much in practice.  After a couple of Christmas seasons, it has begun to look at little worse for the wear.

The trouble with pre-lit trees is that sometimes one or more strands of the lights that are attached will burn out.  In this case, the top and bottom of the tree were glowing, but the middle section was a black hole.  Not only that, but I think this tree was related to the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  There was no mistaking this one for a real tree because the branches were sparse and you could see through to the center of the tree and it in no way resembled an actual tree trunk.

Anyway, as we set the tree up and added a set of lights to the dark center, my husband said that we were getting too old to put up with having things that didn't really work and had to be messed with all the time, so in his opinion, it was time for the tree to be tossed and replaced.  A day or so after Christmas, I found an unlit tree that looks very realistic marked down almost 70% and some light strings on sale as well, so out with the old and in with the new!

That brings me to the disposal of the old tree.  Rather than taking it to the landfill, I decided to advertise it on some of the Facebook yard sale sites as a freebie.  Within minutes, I got a text from my friend, Scott, who thought he could use it in his business office.  Now, I had been very candid in the Facebook ad about all that was wrong with this tree, so I asked him, "Do you want it even with its imperfections?"  Almost as soon as I sent the text, I thought the same thought that he texted back to me - "Sounds like a good sermon or your next blog topic".

I guess he was right because here it is.  Aren't you thankful that in your life, God is more like Scott than like me? (At least as it pertains to our attitude about this tree anyway.)  The world rejects us when we are not performing the way it thinks we should. The enemy is constantly whispering in our ear to convince us that we aren't worthy of anything.  He magnifies every flaw, picks at every failure.  But just like Scott was willing to take the tree and let it continue to serve a purpose, Jesus accepts us with all of our imperfections and makes something beautiful out of our lives, if we will allow Him.

Scott will set this tree up next year in the office.  He may take the time to add some additional greenery to fill it out a little.  He will add lights to the dark spaces and hang ornaments.  It will be a beautiful addition in that space.  He'll make something lovely out of something that was rejected.  He kept it from being discarded, but he kept it for a purpose.  Jesus didn't just claim you to keep you out of the landfill of hell, but to put you to use here - in His business office called planet Earth.  As you step into 2019, make it your priority to function as He has designed you and to discover what purpose He has for you.


Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

(Im)perfect Gifts

I am the world's worst at wrapping gifts.  I just don't seem to have either the visual or fine motor skills to get that paper on the box neatly and evenly. I seldom even bother to add bows or ribbons because it's sort of like putting lipstick on a pig.  Yet, never once have I had someone reject a package from me because of its amateur wrapping job.  On Christmas morning, when my son, his wife, and our granddaughter come to the house, I doubt very seriously if my gift wrapping skills (or lack thereof) will even be mentioned. We will enjoy our time together and what is inside those clumsily adorned boxes will bring smiles to the faces of my family.

My friend, Natalie, makes the most beautiful and delicious cupcakes.  They are the kind of baking creation you look at and say, "That's almost too pretty to eat".  Mine - not so much.  I don't have the equipment or expertise to do pretty things with the frosting, so it gets slathered on with a table knife and that's about it.  However, my banana cake with cream cheese frosting tastes amazing, even if it's not as easy on the eyes.

Did you ever watch one of those talent competitions when a very unlikely looking "star" comes on stage?  The judges sort of smirk and roll their eyes as this person takes their place and nervously raises a microphone.  Then that first beautiful note of song comes out of their mouth and the jaws of the judges drop in amazement.  What was important was the talent, sweetness, and value of what was on the inside of them - not their outward appearance.

Sometimes, we think our efforts aren't worth offering to anyone, because we know someone who does it better.  If we wait until we have a perfect product to present to the world or even just to our church family, we'll never do anything in this life.  Whether what you do looks "Pinterest perfect" or it's a "Pinterest fail", there is still value in the offering.

Maybe you've said to yourself, "I really love working with little kids, but I know that Sister Sweet and Nice is a great teacher to them, so nobody needs me" or "I love people and I love to study the Word, but I couldn't lead a small group like Brother Been at the Church Forever" so you just sit back and soak in what God is providing for you without stepping out to present your messy gift or your ugly cupcake to the world.  I have news for you - Sister and Brother Whoever started out serving while making mistakes, saying the wrong thing sometimes, feeling awkward, but they served and they grew and now you think they've mastered something that you could never even attempt. 

You just have to start the same way they did.  Be available, be open, look for opportunities, ask your pastor where you can serve.  It takes so many hands to do Kingdom work and many times people are taking on a massive number of roles to make sure that everything is done and done well.  We want things to be excellent but we aren't expected to be perfect.  Excellence is giving your best, with your whole heart. Everyone loves a gift.  Please share yours.

A Safe Distance from the Altar

(This post is from my old blog and was written a couple of years ago, but as I was determining what to share tonight, I looked over some of my older pieces and this one really jumped out at me as being timely right now.  I think there are many who are right on the edge of returning to God, but something is holding them back. Feel free to share this with someone who might be in that very situation.)

The other night I went to a revival service in a little country church where my pastor was preaching.   The message was powerful and the time of altar ministry was sweet.  As the service ended and people began leaving the sanctuary, my pastor turned and pointed to a lady standing next to me in the aisle. He said to her, “God is after you!”  Then he turned and began to talk to someone else. What she said to me after he turned away has made a huge impact on me so I’ve written her a letter that I want to share with you.

Dear “Lady from the Revival”,

When my pastor turned to you after the service this evening and said, “God is after you”, you said to me, “I’m staying a safe distance from the altar”.  We talked casually as you stood waiting for your sister and you said you used to serve God, but you weren’t living for Him now. I said that I had also done that at one point in my life.  Maybe I should have said more, but people were milling around the room, gathering their belongings and their children so they could exit the building. It just didn’t seem to be the right time to pursue the subject with you, but what you said has stayed on my mind for all the hours since I heard it.

You see, I may not know what caused you to walk away or what sin you think keeps you from coming back, but I do know what it’s like to run from a calling and I know what it’s like to avoid being in a place where I might have to acknowledge my need to turn back to God and His plan for my life. I remember wanting to do things my way and feeling that all those people who were urging me back to God were just being narrow-minded. Later in my life, I remember feeling that I’d messed up too much and degraded myself far beyond God’s willingness to restore me, so there was just no use in coming back to Him.  There were a lot of wasted years when I could have been making a Kingdom difference, but I was living a frivolous, shallow life. 

Then one day, I found myself in a church service much like the one where I met you.  I realized all the areas of my life where I had tried to make changes on my own could not be changed without a true transformation – one I was not capable of making on my own - so instead of staying a safe distance from the altar that night, I made my way to the safety of a loving Father who began to make all things new.

When you said you were staying a safe distance from the altar, you said it the same way a woman on a diet says she's going to avoid going to a candy store or a shopaholic trying to break a spending habit says they aren’t going to the mall.  It’s not because you don’t want what is there; it’s because you do want what’s there and you know that if you get that close you won’t be able to resist the pull of the presence of God any longer.

It boils down to this - the altar is the only safe place there is in this world.  It’s not necessarily a physical altar, but it’s the altar in our hearts where we lay down our “stuff” and allow God to do His work in us.  What is it that you are holding on to that makes you safer where you are than in His loving arms?  What do you think will happen if you return to Him?  Are you afraid that His purpose for you will finally be fulfilled? Don’t you know that until you find that purpose and walk in it, you will never truly be satisfied with anything in this life?

If you walked with Him once, you must have heard this scripture.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 KJV)

The only thing separating you from His love right now is your choice to keep Him at arm’s length.  

Nothing else.

I’m not conceited enough to think that my few, simple words here would be persuasive enough to bring you to a place where you would run back to that altar of forgiveness and acceptance, but I will be praying that you do just that. Sharing the gospel can be as simple as telling others the good news of what God has done for us. So when He lifts you back up after you surrender again to Him, do the same for someone else.  Share your story and point them back to safety.

Love,

Jan

Lessons from a Baby #13: Wow! Look at That!

Yesterday I put the Christmas tree in the corner of our living room and added the lights and decorations in anticipation of our little Bella and her parents coming over to spend a few nights to weather the predicted snowstorm with us.  When they arrived, I carried her into the house and put her down in front of the tree.  "Wow! Look at that!", she said as she gently touched the lower limbs and their ornaments.

The next morning when she woke up, I opened the front door to let her look through the glass storm door at the falling snow and the white-covered neighborhood. "Wow!  Look at that!", was her reaction.

Oh, to have the wonder a little child has!  Everything is new, exciting and interesting.  I think we get so used to the world the way we have experienced it that we forget to really see what is right in front of us.

I can look into the eyes of this beautiful, busy, almost two-year-old who God placed in our family and say, "Wow!  Look at that!"  I can look around my house and think how impossible it is in the natural that we even own a home, given some of the financial challenges we have had.  Wow!  Look at that! 

When I look around in my local church I see two women who Jesus rescued from drug addiction. I see two more who have survived brain tumors.  Wow!  Look at that!  I see my pastor who once contemplated suicide, now serving God and leading a group of people into radical Christianity.  Wow!  Look at that!  Everywhere I look I see people who have new lives and are living over their circumstances. Wow!

Exodus 15:11   Who is like you, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?

In this special season, sometimes we do stop and really look for and appreciate the blessings around us, but I'm setting a challenge for myself to really notice those "wow" moments in the coming year and for the rest of my life.  Our God is awesome.  He is good and he does good.  There is so much around us that we take for granted.  We need to remember how to be amazed.

Is Your Wood Wet?

As Christians, we all go through various seasons and stages in our lives.  We have times of great testing as well as times of tremendous breakthrough.  We have quiet seasons of rest when there is not much drama as well as seasons of upheaval.  We are by turns confident and insecure, faith-filled and fearful, joyful and sorrowful, fervent and complacent. 

I've recently been in a season that I did not understand. All the circumstances in my life were good.  I had no major situations that might tempt me to worry. I should have been thankful for the time of rest between battles - jubilant and excited - ready to "charge hell with a squirt gun", but instead I just felt disconnected. I remember a particular Sunday morning when God was moving in the church service, working in the lives of people, and tremendous joy and excitement was all around me.  I felt strangely unmoved, even though ordinarily I would have been thrilled at the ministry that was all around me.  It was one of those services when someone could have said, "If that don't light your fire - your wood's wet!"

By that definition - I guess that was me - a big piece of wet wood.  I sought counsel with a couple from my church who shared some godly wisdom with me about how to cope with the way I was feeling.  I put some of their advice to work, but it was just like a big cloak of lethargy had settled over me and I had a difficult time motivating myself to even take the steps I needed to take.

One day I was just rolling all these thoughts around in my mind, wondering what was wrong with me.  I remembered the "your wood's wet" analogy and wallowed around in that mental picture for a little while and then the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "Wet wood isn't a problem for me."  Just that quickly, I remembered the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal.

The people of Israel had sinned against God by worshipping false gods and Elijah challenged them to make a choice that day to follow the true God - one that would send the fire to burn up the sacrifice that was offered to him. (1 Kings 18 tells the story)

Elijah rebuilt the altar of the Lord, which had been torn down, using twelve stones to represent the twelve tribes of Israel.  Then he dug a ditch around the altar, put wood on the altar and laid the pieces of the bull for the sacrifice on the wood.  Then he commanded the people to fill four jars with water and pour it on the meat and on the wood.  He had them repeat the soaking with the water three times. The water was running off the altar and filled the ditch around the altar.

When the time came for the evening sacrifice, Elijah went near the altar and prayed, asking God to prove that he was the God of Israel and Elijah was his servant.  He asked God to show the people that he was indeed God so that their minds would be changed.  

Then fire from the Lord came down and burned the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the ground around the altar.  It also dried up the water in the ditch. When all the people saw this, they fell down to the ground, crying, "The Lord is God! The Lord is God!"

When God Himself reminds you of what He is able to do, it's much easier to let Him motivate you than for you to motivate yourself.  I'm on the way back to a richer, fuller relationship with Him, instead of remaining disconnected.

I know that we live by faith, not by feelings, but often our feelings are signals that we need to examine ourselves to make sure that we are in alignment with God.  There will be spiritual highs and lows in all our lives, but I know a God who is able to light that fire within us when we've grown weary or complacent or sorrowful.  No matter how wet your wood is - God is able!

Lessons from a Baby #12: What Has You Captivated?

On Thanksgiving Day, we shared a meal and an afternoon with my son and his wife and my granddaughter, Bella. Sometime after the big meal was over, my husband took Bella back to our master bedroom to watch some of her favorite cartoon shows while I cleaned the kitchen. Later, I went back to check on the two of them and she was stretched out on the bed with a pillow behind her head and her eyes fixed on the television set.

I curled up beside her and tried to talk to her, but her attention was totally captivated by the action on the screen. No matter what I said or did to engage her, she did not respond.  Her eyes and her mind were on her favorite entertainment. I would have enjoyed having a moment to cuddle with her or to have what passes for a conversation with an almost two-year-old, but she wasn't having it.

This morning our pastor talked about "radical Christianity".  He said that someone who is radical for Jesus will not trade anything for what they have in God while a nominal Christian will allow many other sins and distractions interfere with that relationship.  If we are serious about our relationship with God and the calling that is on our lives, we must be willing to put Him before anything else.  The obvious things that we should lay aside are things that most people recognize as sin, but sometimes there are seemingly innocent pastimes that He may call us to put down in order to know and serve Him better.

Just like Bella can block me out if her cartoons are on, we can easily be captivated by hobbies and interests which are not immoral, yet they can interfere with God's best plans for our lives. How many times have we missed an opportunity to really communicate with a God who would enjoy having that moment to pour into us and talk with us, but we weren't having it?

I certainly do not even pretend that I have dealt with this completely in my own life.  Most of the time, God isn't even asking me to put something totally out of my life.  He just wants me to have a balance - to limit my time spent on certain things - in order to invest time in my relationship with Him.  Seeing the situation from God's point of view when I tried to spend time with Bella made me realize the importance of spending time engaged with Him.

The apostle Paul addressed it this way, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify."
1 Corinthians 10:23

Even successful worldly people know how to prioritize and use their time to achieve their goals.  How much more should we, with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, order our lives to become all that God has purposed for us?

Lessons from a Baby #11: Lock It Yourself!

Since I've had a busy toddler in my life for a while, I've learned there are certain places in my house she wants to explore.  I take that back - she wants to explore every space in my house.  There aren't enough high shelves in my home to put everything out of her reach, so some cabinets now have nice little plastic locks that keep those curious fingers from digging everything out of that space.

I'm not really trying to restrict her curiosity or curtail her freedom. I'm trying to protect her from items in my house that could hurt her.  She doesn't need to play with glass bowls or small appliances with sharp edges, as intriguing as they might be to her.

During the week when little Bella is safe at home with her parents, the locks are left unlocked so that my husband and I don't have to open them each time we need to access the contents of a cabinet. Lately, I've noticed that when Bella comes into our house and heads for the kitchen, the first thing she does is go to those open locks and attempt to lock them herself.  She is restricting herself instead of taking the opportunity to get into all that mystery stuff in the kitchen!

God knows that certain things in this world can hurt us.  He doesn't use locks to keep us away from those things though. He only tells us in his Word to be obedient to Him and shun the sin that would separate us from Him.  He gives us free will to choose Him or choose sin.

If we use the wisdom of a toddler when we see situations and temptations the enemy has designed to entrap us, we should engage those locks ourselves through prayer and the Word and in some cases, by physically walking away from an opportunity to invite sin into our lives.  It could be a certain TV network which has programming that you know entices you to watch something that weakens your walk with God.  It could be an old friend who invites you to join in the things that Jesus has already delivered you from.  It could be any number of open doors where you know exactly what is on the other side.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that " No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

Sometimes that way of escape lies in your own decision making - using wisdom to avoid those triggers that lead you away from God instead of deeper into a relationship that will not only bring joy, power, and strength into your life, but will allow you to bring those things to those that God places in your life to influence.  Lock those doors!

Diamonds in the Dark?

This morning I was sitting in church, listening to the announcements that were made before the sermon began and I glanced down at my hands in my lap.  On my left ring finger was my thin gold wedding band and above it a diamond ring which is composed of one small diamond in the center surrounded by six additional small stones - a diamond cluster. As I moved my hand just a little, the lights in the church sparkled as they were reflected by the gems on the ring.

Have you ever looked at a diamond when the light is dim?  It's rather unremarkable.  Without light to reflect, it may just as well be a piece of glass.  To display its beauty, it must be in full light.  Without the light, its a diamond in the dark, without any loveliness of its own.

In fact, a raw diamond often looks like just any other rock.  It's not until someone recognizes the potential in that stone - seeing what it really is - that it can begin to be transformed into a sparkling piece of jewelry.  It must be cut and shaped by the hand of someone who has mastered this craft.  The diamond must be examined carefully to determine the orientation of its crystals.  Then the gem cutter must consider any flaws in the stone to decide how it should be cut to remove them.  Facets are cut into the gem to help it reflect as much light as possible. It is then polished to a high luster and placed in a setting that displays it in a way that emphasizes its beauty.

A diamond is a lot like a person.  We may look insignificant and common, but God sees us for what we really are. He sees the potential for beauty in us when nobody else does.  Unlike the diamond cutter, God already knows us inside and out and He knows how we are designed and is acquainted with all of our flaws.  Armed with that knowledge, through the Holy Spirit, He begins the process of shaping us, removing the flaws, and designing the facets of our lives so we can reflect as much of His light as possible.

We have two responsibilities in this process.  The first one is to submit to the Holy Spirit to let Him do His work in our lives.  The second is to stay close enough to His light that we can be a reflection of Jesus in this world.  If we spend our time in the darkness, there is no light to reflect.

The ring that caused all these comparisons in my mind today is not really an engagement ring. When my husband and I were engaged, neither of us had much money. I was content to marry him using the wedding rings that my mother and father had worn throughout their marriage.  Both my parents had already made heaven their home years before my wedding.  We engraved our initials and wedding date beside theirs and prayed that our union would be as solid as theirs had been.

One day months later,  after a church service, a woman came up to me and said, "God told me to give you this" and she put this very ring in my hand, closed my fingers around it and walked away.  When I looked at it, I was astonished to find that the gold band on which the setting was mounted was an exact match in width to the wedding band that I wore, making a perfect set.

That summer, I distinctly remember being at my grandmother's farm, walking around in the beautiful sunshine of a country afternoon and looking down to see the sunshine reflecting from that ring.  I asked God then why He gave this to me and I heard in my heart so clearly, "I just wanted you to know how precious you are to Me."

Each of us is a precious, unique jewel to our God.  If we continue in Him, it's amazing to think what He can create in us and how much His light can shine to others as we reflect His amazing love.

Back to the Basics

When you stop and think about it, the skill of reading the English language is really very complex, yet even children as young as preschool age can begin to learn the names of the letters of the alphabet and their sounds.  I recently began tutoring a young boy who is struggling with reading, even though he is very intelligent and has great math skills and mechanical ability.  

As his mother observed us working together last week, she mentioned that she had worked with him on all these same skills in the past and she wondered why he was having such difficulty mastering those skills the way her other children had. I could spout a lot of educational and psychological jargon to explain his difficulties, but I believe that with the right teaching approach, he'll be able to master what he needs in order to be a competent reader.

In my own academic life, there were skills like that for me.  In the third grade, I had a terrible time figuring out how to read an analog clock.  Algebra was a nightmare for me, but as an adult when I did some team-teaching with a math teacher, I was finally developmentally ready to understand. We're all at different places with our readiness to learn things and there are always prerequisite skills that we need first in order to build new knowledge on the old. 

As I was thinking about going back to square one with this little fellow, I started comparing his reading journey to my spiritual journey right now.  Just as we all sometimes do, I have been through a period of time when I've been a little on the "spiritually lazy" side. As I've asked God to help me understand the roots of this hiccup in my spiritual walk, He's begun to show me that I need to go back to some basics of spiritual literacy - to study some things that I should have "mastered" and to see them in a fresh light. Just because I was raised on John 3:16 doesn't mean that I never need to read it again or to meditate on what it means to me and to those who I encounter in my life.  

I haven't used the algebra that I learned in many years, so I doubt if I'd be very successful with it now.  However, if there was a necessity for me to relearn it, I could go back to the beginning and be reminded of the principles, rules, and skills I'd need to put back into practice.  God is showing me that where I am weak, I need to repeat some lessons and that there is no shame in that.  The shame would be in maintaining false pride and insisting that everything was just as it should be.  All of us need to be reminded of Kingdom principles from time to time when we are not living them out in the way that we know is best.

We all need to maintain a teachable spirit and to ask the Holy Spirit, who is our Teacher, to make "lesson plans" for us - to teach us what He knows we need to learn.  

Whose Truth Sets You Free?

It amazes me that in a cynical, sinful world that is scornful about the things of God, I frequently hear snippets of Biblical sayings in television shows, movies, and songs and see quotes in books and articles.  I hear God's name and the name of Jesus spoken - not necessarily always in vain.  Characters will even "pray", after a fashion, asking questions of God or asking God to help them in a situation.

I heard one such reference the other day in a television drama.  The main character was confronted with the real story of an event from her teenage years and in that new knowledge, she had to face something she didn't want to know about a family member.  She, as the narrator in this scene, said, "They say the truth sets you free......," and continued talking about what she had learned.

John 8:32 And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

John 14:6  Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

But "the truth" that she was referring to is not the same as Jesus being "the truth"  Truth is not just facts or a motto that you live by or even a scripture. Truth is a Person.

Truth is more than a set of principles.  It's more than a body of knowledge.  All the principles and knowledge in the world cannot free you from the mess that you, being human, have created.  Facts can't forgive your sin, free you from your bondage or guide your future.  All facts can do is contribute to your human reasoning.  I think we all realize how fallible that can be.

Jesus is the Truth - not a truth, or one of the truths, but THE TRUTH.  Yes, He will use the "truths" in His Word to mold and shape us, but the first truth we have to know is that He is THE entry point; the one who all of the facts and mottos and scriptures have to be viewed through to make any sense in our lives. 

You've probably heard people in the media talking about "Living Your Truth" like it's some sort of new religion - and in a way, I guess it is.  The way that people have twisted and manipulated real truth from the beginning of time has created a maze of ideas and creeds and slogans and lifestyles until there is total confusion in the minds of many. Our own "truth" is flawed from the beginning and trying to live it leaves us just stewing in the same cesspool in which we've always been immersed.

The quote that "Christianity isn't a religion - it's a relationship" may be overused, but it's certainly not over-experienced.  Even many who go to a church that's considered a Christian denomination may still never have really met "The Truth" or had their lives changed by Him.

It doesn't take much to see that the world needs real truth, because each of us living by our own is causing nothing but pain, stress, conflict, and foolishness.  I don't know how many times in the last few years I've either heard or said, "The world's gone crazy".  We all need the only real truth that has ever existed - the person of Jesus.

Don't Sweat the Details

I am an organizer.  I like to sit down and plan all the little details of a project or a vacation.  Maybe part of the reason for my desire for order is a need to be in control.  Writing those lists of steps makes me feel ready to begin an undertaking, while just jumping into the activity seems too frightening without those boundaries written down in black and white.

The weekly Bible study group that meets at our house each week is doing a study on prayer.  One of the aspects we discussed last week was having "childlike faith".  I began to think about what childlike faith really looks like in real life. 

When I was a child, our family was fortunate enough to take many trips - most of them in an RV to various state and national parks.  Whether the trip was a weekend in a campground an hour away from the house or a two-week vacation to the American West, my parents always had full responsibility for preparing for the big expedition.

Mom and Dad would tell us that we were going somewhere on a specific date and then my sister and I just went about our normal childhood lives until the day it was time to leave and then we'd jump in the back seat of the car and just go.  I don't recall ever asking my parents if they had a map of the route (pre-GPS) or if they had cashed a check for expenses (pre-ATM) or if they had packed enough clothes for me to wear.  I didn't worry about the logistics of dealing with four people and a dog and all their needs.  I didn't fret about the itinerary or the car or RV maintenance or tickets to any attractions we'd visit.  I was just a passenger in a vehicle that would ultimately take me to my desired destination. I believed the promise of my parents and I just trusted that everything would go well.

How many times in my own life have I worried and wondered about how God would take care of a situation?  How many times did I despair in financial need because I could not imagine how in the world He would bring the provision to me?  Just because I can't see the planning He does behind the scenes does not mean He isn't using His own divine strategy to bring about a result that is far superior to my earthly solutions.

If you have a problem with your vehicle and you take it to the shop, you don't go back every morning to drive it around to see if you can pinpoint the trouble.  You leave it in the hands of the repairman who has the knowledge, tools, and expertise to diagnose the problem and restore the car to working condition.  Taking it out of the shop's hands every day just delays the resolution and potentially could cause more damage to your car.

When you take a situation to God, you have to leave it with Him.  If you keep taking it back to worry and strategize and fuss with it, you aren't giving Him the time to solve it and you could be causing more harm to yourself and others when you don't trust His plan.

I don't claim to understand God's ways or His timing or His reasons for doing what He does.  I only know that in those situations where I can back off and give Him complete control, He brings about the right answer at the right time.  I don't have to sweat the details - I can leave them in His hands.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.   Proverbs 3:5-6

See Them the Way God Sees Them

A few months ago, I walked into the sanctuary of my church and was pleasantly surprised to see someone I had not seen for quite some time.  There had been a moral failure in this individual's life and the details were common knowledge.  I was happy to see they were back in church because I knew that, failure or not, they would be loved and encouraged into a right relationship with God.

I went to tell my husband about seeing this person.  My husband is not always great with remembering the names of people.  I often have to describe someone's appearance or tell him where they sit in the congregation or remind him of an event or a conversation with the person so he can put a face to the description. On this occasion, I found myself describing the person by what they had done wrong, but almost immediately the Holy Spirit reminded me that God sees this person through the blood of Jesus - spotless and acceptable to Him.  God sees the potential in their life - the purpose and plan He has for them.  

I know that repentance is necessary for forgiveness and I'm hoping that has already taken place, but we as Christians also need to look at those who have fallen with those same eyes of compassion, remembering the times that we also have failed.  If you described me by my failures and sins, you'd be missing the big picture. You'd be seeing something that is past; something God chooses not to remember anymore.  You'd miss the amazing vision that He sees for my future.

1 Samuel 16:7 says ".......For the Lord does not see as man sees; for a man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.  

I don't know what is going on in the life of this person, but God does and though the failure may end up being part of a glorious testimony, I resolve that I will not look upon them as the person who sinned but as the prodigal who returned to the Father.  

 

She Calls Me Mamaw!

In May, I wrote a blog post about the fact that my granddaughter, Bella, had a name for everyone in the family except me.  I was that nameless, nice lady who she loved, but could not name. In the last few months, I have finally been christened with the moniker of Mamaw.

Growing up, I don't remember any of my friends having a Mamaw. Some called their grandmother names like Granny, or Grandma, or Grandmother or even Mimi, but Mamaw was not a name I heard.  It seems to be more of a southern name and as my husband is fond of reminding me, even though I'm a West Virginian by birth, I just barely lived south of the Mason-Dixon line. I made it by only about twelve miles.  In his mind, I'm not really southern at all.  In fact, he calls me a "Wetzelvanian" since I lived in Wetzel County, WV, not too far from the Pennsylvania state line.

A "Mamaw" in my mind is a plump, farm wife with a flowered dress and a white apron.  I think I have the plump part down, but the rest doesn't sound like me.  However, "Mamaw" goes perfectly with "Papaw" and since that's my husband, I guess we make a perfect pair.

What's the spiritual significance of this little story? I guess there isn't much on the surface.  I think I just wanted to write to share with the readers who have been following our story that not only do I have a beautiful, smart, sweet blessing of a granddaughter, but she asks for me by name now. What a miracle she is!  All grandmothers think that about their grandchildren, but the fact that she is in my life at all is a miracle.

The struggle and heartbreak of a fertility issue for my son and his wife caused the joy of this particular little girl to be in our lives.  The circumstances of her birth mother's life that could have led to tragic results have unfolded to give her a wonderful life with us where she is whole, happy and normal (or as normal as she can be surrounded by our crazy family!) It's one of those "what the enemy meant for evil, God is using for good" kind of things.

I am just overwhelmingly grateful to God for Bella's life and I am so excited to see how He will continue to grow Josh and Brittney's little family.  Things do not always work out the way that we think we would orchestrate them, but God's plan is always perfect.  So, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go look for a flowered dress and an apron.  I've got a grandbaby to love on!

In His Time

My son and his wife are trying to sell their house, so they planted a few fruits and vegetables at our house this summer so they wouldn't have to abandon the harvest if their house was purchased before it was time to enjoy all the produce. The watermelon vines, in particular, have rather taken over a section of the backyard. They started as a few small plants nestled up next to the foundation of the house, but their spreading vines are trailing far across the lawn.

About a week ago, one of them looked ready to eat.  It was large and had that nice yellow spot on the bottom that is supposed to indicate that it's ready. When we cut into it, it looked good and each of our two families had a large chunk to enjoy.  Yesterday, in anticipation of a picnic lunch we had planned for a day trip, we thought we'd slice up some more to add to the cooler. My son found one that looked just like the other had looked when we'd served it up.  However, when I pulled my large knife across the rind of this one and sliced down to the cutting board, all I saw was a disappointing pale pink color all the way down to the rind.  That watermelon got tossed into the woods for the wildlife to enjoy if they can.

To our eyes, it looked as if the second melon was ready to serve out its purpose.  It looked right on the outside, the time it had been growing indicated that it should be ready, our experience had been that a melon of that size and appearance should be good to eat - so what happened?  It just wasn't time.

I attended a women's conference this past weekend where the speaker said something much the same.  She said that sometimes when we are believing God for breakthrough and miracles in our lives, we just have to wait for God's timing. She said that God's delay is not necessarily God's denial and that He might be waiting for the perfect timing to bring the greatest glory to Himself.

I can remember experiences in my own life where had I been given exactly what I wanted at the time that I thought I needed it, it actually would have been damaging to my situation.  God knew the big picture and His timing was perfect.  There are situations right now in my life that I think I see clearly.  I know what needs to happen and I can't imagine why or how a delay in getting that answer could be positive or desirable, but I also know that I don't know everything.  In God's infinite wisdom, with an eternal view and a Kingdom purpose, there are reasons I could never comprehend.  In the gardens of our lives, He is the ultimate and perfect gardener.  He knows when we are ready for the things He desires to give us, the ministries in which He wants to use us, and the lessons He needs to teach us.  It's time to trust the Master Gardener.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.  (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

The Father of Scammers

Like many folks these days, I seldom answer my phone if the number calling is not in my contacts list.  Now that telemarketers and scam artists can call from anywhere in the world while displaying a number that looks as if it could be your next-door neighbor’s, it’s wise to just ignore unrecognized calls and hope that if it truly is a legitimate call, the caller will leave a voicemail message.

The other day I received a call like that.  Most of the time, the scammers don’t leave a message, but this time I got a notification that I had a voicemail.  It went something like this:

““You will be taken under custody by the local cops. There are four serious allegations pressed on your name at this moment. We would request you get back to us so we can discuss this case before taking legal action.”

Sounds totally legitimate and scary, doesn’t it?  I’m sure if the local constabulary was on their way to arrest me, they would call to warn me first so I could get out of town before their arrival. 

Of course, like any good internet savvy person, I typed the words “four serious allegations” into Google and read about the type of scam these people were pulling.  Of course, it’s an attempt to scare folks into paying money to the scammer to avoid arrest.  I also got an email recently that prominently displayed a password I used to use a lot in the subject line.  That scammer really had obtained that password from a data breach from my health insurance company and used it to threaten me with exposure, saying that they had control of my computer and had a split screen video with my face on one side and the porn site I was allegedly viewing on the other. Of course, for a fee, they would agree not to send this video to all my email contacts.

Of course, in both cases, I knew I was innocent of anything the scammers were trying to pin on me, but I know  there are people who have enough guilt in their lives to believe  there might be some teeth in these threats and so they pay money to avoid the malicious actions these criminals are using as intimidation.

Satan is like that. 

Even as followers of Jesus, we will sometimes fall into sin, make mistakes, lose our tempers, or be unkind to someone.  We are not perfect and will not be this side of heaven.  Even a non-believer has a conscience and our conscience will tell us when we’ve done something that isn’t in line with our moral code. If we are walking in a close relationship with the Holy Spirit, He will gently rebuke us for our choices, but it is a loving rebuke meant to bring us into closer fellowship with God and to shape us into the image of Jesus.  The Holy Spirit won’t bring an accusation with a threat of condemnation, but conviction with a promise of mercy and grace.

The enemy’s accusations are meant to bring us into a place of shame, a place where we will avoid fellowship with God because we feel unworthy.  In ourselves, we are unworthy, but Jesus paid the price to bring us into a position of wholeness, cleanness, and right-standing with God.  1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Many times, Satan will bring an accusation against you that isn’t even true, but because he is the father of lies, he’ll put enough truth with the lie to make you question whether you were wrong in a situation.  Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the truth.

Don’t let that scam artist deprive you of fellowship with God. Don’t let him steal from you all the blessings God has given you.  Don’t give him permission to speak into your life and rob you of your joy.  Don’t answer back to him when he delivers a false accusation.  He just isn’t worth your time.

Today is Your Day.......

Back in my day.......

Have you ever heard someone use those words?  I even saw an ad today that was talking about grandparents and used the phrase, "in their day". When is my day?  Has my day passed if I'm over 30?  Heaven forbid!

When I was a teenager, I thought of someone in their 40s or 50s as old.  Now that I'm approaching my 60th birthday, my opinion on age has changed considerably! I think my attitude began changing when I was approaching 30 and feeling a little sad that my 20s were ending.  My husband said something profound one day that totally changed my perspective on aging. He said, "You act like you're sorry you lived this long."  I realized that getting older just meant that I was a survivor - it was a victory, not a defeat.

 I don't feel old and I definitely don't feel as if my time has passed or that it's time to just sit back and relax.  I'm just now really learning my full purpose in this life.  If God lets me live to be 100, I'll still be finding ways to serve.  My roles and responsibilities may change with time and with age, but each day of my senior years is just as important to God as the days He gave me in my youth.

Our church sponsored a youth conference this weekend and I am in no way taking anything away from the importance of what God wants to do through teenagers in the Kingdom.  We need to pour into our kids the wisdom of God, the strength and power of the Holy Spirit, and the dependence on Jesus that they will need to fulfill their purpose.  My prayer is that they will be established and strong and will avoid some of the pitfalls of the world that the enemy will try to use to derail their destiny. I just don't want you to think that if those days are in your rear-view mirror that you are finished.

If "our day" is only the days of our youth, what is the purpose of the rest of our lives?  The Bible shows us that God had a purpose for people of all ages, not just the young.  For every story of a young David or Samuel, there's also a story of an aged Abraham or the elderly prophetess Anna at the temple as she saw the infant Jesus.   Age means nothing to an eternal God.  He can use us from childhood to old age.  Every day is "our day" if we are walking with the guidance of His Holy Spirit.

Lessons from a Baby #10: Hold You

(This post is very brief, but it gets right to the point and it's a point on which I need to meditate right now.  Maybe it will speak to you in the same way.)

In just a few months, our beautiful granddaughter, Bella, will be two years old and at that point, I guess I'll have to stop calling her a baby.  Even now, she's communicating like a little person and beginning to put a couple of words together to make short phrases.  My favorite one is when she is standing at my feet and reaches her little arms up to me and says, "Hold you"! .......  Not "hold me", but "hold you". 

In my mind, asking to be held is communicating a need for comfort or rest, but asking to hold someone else is an expression of wanting to be close to and express love to another person.

Throughout my life, there have been many times when I have sought solace in the arms of Jesus.  The Holy Spirit is called our Comforter for a reason.  But what joy it must bring to His heart when we come to Him just to express our love - when we ask to "hold him"!

Room Enough to Receive It

I am a very organized shopper.  I get paid every two weeks and every two weeks I sit down and plan 14 days of menus and make a grocery list.  Now that I have discovered online grocery shopping with curbside pickup, I am saving time and avoiding standing in long lines. 

This week when my husband and I pulled into the pickup lot for our grocery haul, I got out and went to the back of the van to make sure there wasn't anything there to interfere with the store worker loading my bags of groceries.  Then one of those little "God moments" occurred as I got a quick analogy about having room to receive what I had purchased.

God has purchased everything for us - salvation, healing, deliverance, power, anointing, strength, peace, joy, wisdom - shall I go on?  Sometimes the back of my van holds my granddaughter's stroller or some tools that belong to my husband.  If I forget that those things are there, they must be moved to allow the van to be filled with those things that I need.  Some things I can move aside myself, but there are other things that are too heavy for me to move and I need the help of my husband - someone who is stronger than I am.

In our lives, God desires for us to have all those things that He provides, but there are times when our lives are filled up with other things which must be moved aside in order to us to receive what He is offering.  Some of those things we can move aside with a simple choice, while others require His strength to lift away. There are times when just talking with a brother or sister in Christ helps to lift those things that are in the way and put them in their proper place.

That was my case this past week.  I had allowed some mindsets to interfere with my walk with God.  I had listened to some lies of the enemy that had discouraged me and made me feel inferior, powerless, and useless.  In counsel with a couple who loves me, I began to recognize the root of some of these thoughts and they helped me to move them out of the way in the spirit so that I would have room to receive the thoughts about myself that God wishes me to have.

What is in your spiritual "trunk" today?  Are there things there that you need to set aside?  Are there things blocking the flow of blessing in your life that you need to share with someone who knows the mind of God?  Do you need to ask God to pick up that heavy thing and move it out of the way so that you will have a spirit that is open and clear and ready to receive from Him?

What I Thought I Wanted

I have only put sunscreen on my body once this summer.  Before you think me reckless and unwise, let me tell you that though I prefer warm weather to the stark and bleak cold of winter, I don't relish extreme heat either and I definitely don't like to sweat!  The time I've spent outdoors this summer has been in short periods of time that aren't in the peak times of day for the sun to do its damage.

When I was a teenager though, I strove to get that "healthy-looking" tan.  My friends and I would lay out in the backyard on lawn chairs, slathering on a mixture of iodine and baby oil, flipping from front to back at regular intervals to fry ourselves evenly.  Unfortunately, it was to no avail.  My daughter says I am the whitest white woman she knows!  I think she is referring to more than the hue of my skin, but it's true that I cannot get a tan by any means.  I burn, peel and go back to the same pasty white.  So, I made the decision pretty early on that since I could not get that golden glow that I'd avoid all the burns and the sweating and the frustration and limit my time in the sun.

So many times in life we think we really need or want something and it doesn't happen.  My dreams of looking like the girls in the teen magazines did not come to pass, but there was a huge silver lining in that frustrated wish.  By avoiding the sun for the last 45 years, my skin has maintained its youth better than some other folks my age.  I often surprise people who learn my age for the first time. Better than that, I seem to have dodged the skin cancer bullet as well.

What's all this got to do with spiritual things?  I know there are times  I asked God for things in my life I thought would make me complete or happy or fulfilled, but those prayers were not answered in the way I envisioned them.  In retrospect, I can now see the hand of God in the way He responded to the things I thought I wanted.  His plan was far greater than the limited one I had designed and some of those requests would have eventually spelled disaster for me if they had played out according to my wishes.

It boils down to this: God has a vision for our lives and a view of our lives that is so far beyond what we can imagine that the only wise thing for us to do is to trust Him.  Oh, how we want to dictate to Him how things should be.  We want His stamp of approval on our plans instead of seeking Him to guide us into His.

I once heard a sermon that referenced the scripture: "Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) We think this means if you follow God, He'll give you all the things you want, but this pastor's take on the scripture was that if your delight is in the Lord, He'll put the desires in your heart that He wants you to have - those that will bring about His purpose in your life and in the lives of others that you touch. He is concerned with Kingdom purpose - not wish granting. It's an interesting thought.  Are we willing to let His desires become our desires and quit holding on to what we think we want?

Beyond the Obvious

There is a game that I play on my cell phone when I have an idle moment, like when I'm waiting in a doctor's office or when a meeting is late in beginning.  This game gives me just six letters to use to make as many as twelve words in a crossword-style grid, but with no clues.  At first, I see the obvious combinations and connect the letters to make the words that stand out to me.  Then I try adding suffixes to the words I've made if the correct letters are there to make that attempt. My next strategy is to think of words that rhyme with those I've already formed.  Finally, I actually look at the grid structure and see what hints are there because of the position of the letters in the words that remain.

Many times I will look at the few letters that are presented to me and think, "There is absolutely no way that I can make that many words from this meager number of letters!" It looks impossible and I can not find any meaning in the jumble of letters that are given to me.  Eventually though, with time and reflection, I fill in the entire grid.

I think the Bible is a lot like a word puzzle.  Of course, the worth of the Word of God is infinitely more valuable than a time-wasting game, but there are some parallels between the two. At first reading of a passage of scripture, we can get the surface meaning.  We quickly latch on to what is familiar and what we have heard preached and taught before, but if we move on and dismiss this as just that "same old passage" that we've heard a thousand times, we won't see the entire "grid" or structure that God is trying to build in our lives.

True Bible study is more than just reading.  Just like the puzzle, we must look at scripture beyond the immediate and instant understanding and find connections and associations between what we are reading and what God has said in the entirety of His Word.  We can find application to the current situations in our lives.  If we are willing to dig into the Word and ask the Holy Spirit to be our teacher, we will find treasures that will bring beauty to our lives and the lives of others.  Challenge yourself to complete the puzzles in your life with the letters you have been given.

Lessons from a Baby #9: Who Gets Your Attention?

Have you ever said something and realized, almost at the very moment the words were coming out of your mouth, that what you were saying had a meaning beyond the subject you were talking about?  Sometimes I will say something quite ordinary that turns out to be one of those phrases about which I can say, "That'll preach!"

I had one such moment this past weekend.  Our darling Bella, who gets to be the subject of so many of my blog posts, is a busy toddler.  There is so much for her to see and do that we don't get much cuddle time with her anymore.  The rarity of her hugs and kisses makes them precious - especially when they are given without request.

She was busy on Saturday morning, playing with her toys, checking out the pantry, looking out the window, and babbling on about something, when my husband asked her for a hug.  She stopped what she was doing, reached up for him, and wrapped her little arms around his neck.  "Aww, thank you!" he said and put her back down on the floor.  Emboldened by his success, I asked for a hug too, but little miss said, "No" in her tiny little voice and toddled off into the kitchen.

"Wait a minute!" I said.  "I feed you and I change your diapers and he gets the hug?"  Before the last word left my mouth, the Holy Spirit had already stopped on that thought.  "How many of your needs has God supplied and who gets your time and attention?"

I had to admit that more of my focus is given to the things of the world, the petty details of daily life, and my own amusement than is invested in the things of God.  I find myself preferring to be entertained by things that have no value than to spend time in the presence of my Father. The enemy's greatest tool in the life of a Christian is not to draw us into gross immorality.  He merely has to distract us from our life in the kingdom, make us prayerless and thus powerless.  When we stop pursuing Jesus, it's a slow drawing away that can leave us in a place we never would have chosen to go willingly, though it's those daily choices that we "will" that take us there. 

So today I vow to set my affection and attention where it belongs.

Colossians 3:2 says, "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." 

That's where I'll start - by remembering where I belong and who deserves my focus.  I won't do it perfectly, but I won't use that as an excuse to stop trying. 

Amazing Love

When our son was a little boy he often said to us, “I love you a million thousand every day”.  Like most parents, we remember the cutest things our kids said and still talk about them, even though those babies are now adults.  I loved this phrase so much that I had a wall plaque created with those words.  It now hangs over my kitchen window.

One day I was walking through the house and noticed the plaque.  God said to me, “Think about those words a minute and I’ll show you something”.

As I meditated on that childish utterance, God showed me that when my baby boy said, “a million thousand” he was imagining the biggest number he could to indicate the depth of the love he had for us.  When he used the words, “every day",  he meant not just Christmas morning or the day we took him fishing or the time we went to the amusement park, but every single ordinary day of his life.

God said, “My love is much the same. A million thousand is only a tiny fraction of the infinite love that I have for my children.  I love you so much that I gave you Jesus and your mind can only comprehend a very small part of what that means for you.  My love for you is every day – not just when you have it all together, not just when you pray just right, not just when you’ve studied the Word or lifted your hands in worship, not just when you are treating those around you the way you should. I love you on the days when you are broken or doubting or frustrated or angry or unforgiving or apathetic.  I love you deeply and unconditionally every day.”

Every morning when you wake up to start your day, just imagine our amazing God greeting you with that phrase:

"I love you a million thousand

 – every day!"

Lessons from a Baby #8: Pursuing in the Same Direction/Proximity is Everything

It's hard to believe that just a few short months ago my granddaughter, Bella, was just taking her first few unsteady steps.  Now she's walking everywhere - and I do mean EVERYWHERE - and getting into everything.  She walks so well now that she is really ready to turn the walk into a run.

Last week we were playing in my backyard. She thinks it is hilariously funny when I chase and try to catch her, so we were doing a bit of that. Then I switched up the game a bit and got her to try to chase me. She thought that was fun too, but after just a few minutes, she turned and trotted off the opposite way in the yard. I yelled to her, "Bella, you can't catch me if you aren't going the same way I'm going!"

BAM! The thought hit me immediately.  That's what God is constantly saying to us.  We can't "catch" Him if we aren't going in the direction He is moving. Not only that, but moving away from God takes us from His protection and into places of danger.

Bella went the opposite way and at first, she was fine.  She was still in a safe place in the backyard, but if she had continued to move away from me, she eventually would have wandered into places of danger like the woods or.the street. 

When we first let other things interfere with our pursuit of God, we don't notice a problem.  We are still good, decent, moral people. We think we can handle this life just fine on our own.  It's no big deal.  The further we go in the opposite direction, the more the trajectory leads us into situations that we never thought we'd find ourselves in again.

My husband Paul reminded me of a similar story involving Bella's dad, our son, Josh.  When he was a little fellow, just learning to ride a bike, he took a bike ride in our neighborhood. He was still using training wheels, so this was early in his skill development in this area.  He had his helmet on and was riding just a little ahead of us as we circled the neighborhood. His dad told him not to get too far ahead of us so he would be safe. As he grew more confident, he peddled faster and faster and ultimately ended up hitting a rough patch of pavement and fell off his bike, skinning up his elbows and knees.  In spite of the warning to stay close, he made other choices.  Paul said it's like he had the helmet of salvation to keep him safe, but he forgot to stay close to his father and put himself in danger.

Remember that no matter how much you think you "have it together", you cannot risk moving off the path of pursuit in the same direction God is leading. 

Lessons from a Baby #7: Trusting, When You Don't Like the Way It Feels

I went to a swimming party yesterday with my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter, Bella.  Bella is 18 months old and is not yet a swimmer.  So "swimming" for her means being carried through the water while splashing and kicking.  She really likes me to hold her under her arms and pull her towards me through the water while she tries to kick her little legs.  However, when I try to hold her in my arms and help her to lie on her back to float, she resists.

I shouldn't have been surprised.  Like many little ones, Bella does not enjoy having her hair washed.  She doesn't like the feeling of the water on the top of her head or the drops streaming down her face.  I know that she loves and trusts me and she knows that I will not do anything to hurt her.  It's not that she didn't trust me to keep her above water while she lay on her back, it's just that she didn't like the way it felt.

Then God reminded me that I am the same way. I trust God. My head and heart both know that God will not do anything to harm me and that I can rest safely in His arms.   Sometimes though, I just don't like the way that feels. There are times when He is bringing me through a season in my life when the water doesn't feel comfortable.  I know He is holding me and I really don't have any fear - I just don't like the way I feel.

During those times, He is teaching me and trying to develop things in me that aren't easy to experience.  Sometimes there is pain. Often there is a period of stepping out into things that don't feel natural to me. More times than not, I have to see things in myself that I'm not ready to confront.  Through all of it though, I know that I won't be dropped, left to sink and drown in the middle of my situation.

Someday, when Bella is a much bigger girl and has learned to float and swim and dive, she'll read this story and wonder what the big deal was.  She'll ask herself why she ever had a problem with having her head wet.  For now, she is just reacting to a circumstance by showing how she feels.  She'll learn to get past those feelings and enjoy the freedom of moving through the water on her own as I can learn the freedom of letting God have His way in my life.

I know we are not supposed to be moved by what we feel, but that doesn't mean we won't feel.  The key is that when God is holding us on the surface of the water, we must relax and let Him put us in that floating position - even though it's not comfortable. Pulling ourselves back into that upright position keeps us away from the peace that we can have in Him.  The Bible says that "perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18), so we must remind ourselves that the love that is holding us is indeed perfect and learn to embrace the sensations that are not always comfortable in the natural, knowing that God really does have our best interests in mind.