I went to a swimming party yesterday with my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter, Bella. Bella is 18 months old and is not yet a swimmer. So "swimming" for her means being carried through the water while splashing and kicking. She really likes me to hold her under her arms and pull her towards me through the water while she tries to kick her little legs. However, when I try to hold her in my arms and help her to lie on her back to float, she resists.
I shouldn't have been surprised. Like many little ones, Bella does not enjoy having her hair washed. She doesn't like the feeling of the water on the top of her head or the drops streaming down her face. I know that she loves and trusts me and she knows that I will not do anything to hurt her. It's not that she didn't trust me to keep her above water while she lay on her back, it's just that she didn't like the way it felt.
Then God reminded me that I am the same way. I trust God. My head and heart both know that God will not do anything to harm me and that I can rest safely in His arms. Sometimes though, I just don't like the way that feels. There are times when He is bringing me through a season in my life when the water doesn't feel comfortable. I know He is holding me and I really don't have any fear - I just don't like the way I feel.
During those times, He is teaching me and trying to develop things in me that aren't easy to experience. Sometimes there is pain. Often there is a period of stepping out into things that don't feel natural to me. More times than not, I have to see things in myself that I'm not ready to confront. Through all of it though, I know that I won't be dropped, left to sink and drown in the middle of my situation.
Someday, when Bella is a much bigger girl and has learned to float and swim and dive, she'll read this story and wonder what the big deal was. She'll ask herself why she ever had a problem with having her head wet. For now, she is just reacting to a circumstance by showing how she feels. She'll learn to get past those feelings and enjoy the freedom of moving through the water on her own as I can learn the freedom of letting God have His way in my life.
I know we are not supposed to be moved by what we feel, but that doesn't mean we won't feel. The key is that when God is holding us on the surface of the water, we must relax and let Him put us in that floating position - even though it's not comfortable. Pulling ourselves back into that upright position keeps us away from the peace that we can have in Him. The Bible says that "perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18), so we must remind ourselves that the love that is holding us is indeed perfect and learn to embrace the sensations that are not always comfortable in the natural, knowing that God really does have our best interests in mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment