Move Toward the Light

 

We have an outbuilding on our property that we call the "Prayer Shed".  Sometimes I also call it the "Escape Room" because it's the only place I can find where I can truly be alone, unobserved, and unheard.

I was there tonight, reading the Word, and praying.  The prayer was difficult.  So much is going on in the life of our family: health issues, uncertainty, financial pressures, and relationship challenges.

Because of all of this, I've been pulled in many directions lately. and I've been expected to fulfill many different roles. In times like these, it's easy to get spiritually weary and discouraged.  Sometimes I feel so dry and so inadequate for the tasks set before me. 

I got brutally honest with God because He already knows my questions, my not-so-holy thoughts about things, my frustrations, and my resentments.  I'd love to say that the shed lit up with holy light and angels came to minister to me and now everything is perfect, but that didn't happen.  I turned off the desk light and plunged the little room into total darkness.  

It's only a few steps to the door of the building and on the other side of that door were the lights of the patio that could lead me to the house. As I took those steps, I heard, "Move toward the light".  God wasn't giving me directions to my house.  He was reminding me that in the middle of the most difficult situations in our lives when we are tempted to turn into our own emotions and wall ourselves off from God in desperation, the only wise thing to do is to move toward Him instead.

In John 6:66-69, many who were following Jesus turned away from Him and deserted Him because of offense at some of His sayings which they misinterpreted.  He asks the twelve disciples in His inner circle if they would also leave Him.  Simon Peter replied, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.  We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God."

I still don't understand all the "whys" of this situation. I still face the same uncertainties and the same challenges, but where else could I go?  Who else could I seek for help in this difficult time?  He is still the answer and the light of the world and I'll continue to move toward Him and not away so He can lead me where I'm going.